I’m blessed with another year. Syukran.

Many things have changed within this year alone. I chose to move out from my parents, had no ill intention. I just need my own space, my own kitchen, my own studio and my own mess. I think it’s about time. People my age had the privilege to pick their own furniture, curtain and kitchen utensils. I’d be lying if I say I do not have the same urge. How many of you actually browse around electrical stores and did not wish you own this oven/fridge/mixer/food processor/TV/hi-fi system? How about IKEA/Harvey Norman and wish you had that fancy lighting fixtures?

The only thing different is I’m doing this by myself. I’m doing what most married people out there share or paid for. So yeah, most of you are paying for 1 car and 2 houses,  or 2 cars and 1 house. I’m paying and dealing the fuss exactly the same on my own.

There were times I wish I have someone. It took me 2 or 3 trips from the car trunk to the apartment to unload my bi-weekly grocery shopping. I wish to go home to someone. I wish I can mengadu about the stress at work at someone. I wish to cook and bake for someone. I wish someone would like the curtain I sew last week and praises me like there’s no tomorrow even if the curtain senget sebelah. I wish to show off my running certificates and medals to someone, “Lookie lookie, this is something I earn, sweat and blood, are you proud of me?”. I wish to chat with someone before I sleep.

But there were times, when I think I don’t need someone. I’m happy that I get to choose my own furniture. I get to choose my own dining table. I get to choose my own curtain color shades. I can cook the egg the way I want it. I can hangout with my guy friends without having to explain to anyone why I need to consult them on girls thing. I can do things that many people regard as uncommon. I can do long distance running, swimming, white water rafting and go on a trip alone. I don’t have to deal with guilt, I don’t have to hide anything from anyone. I can be myself.

I wonder if  I really have to forgo things in the 4th paragraph so I can get things on the 5th. Does that mean I have to forget being with anyone so I can be myself. Like wow. Seriously?

I guess I’m okay with this. I’ve lived without TV for the past 9 months. But there was this day when the internet connection was down for 2 hours. So yeah, I did menggelupur. I concluded then, as long as there’s internet connection, I’ll be okay.

But then someone on facebook posted this link.

Teacher who couldn’t swim becomes an international triathlete… and loses four stone in as many months.

Quoting from the article:

“Melanie also said her husband Mark, 45, had been a huge motivator.

She said: ‘Mark is really proud of me, he’s my number one superstar. Without him I couldn’t be where I am now.”


Someone please convince me, I don’t need a number one superstar, to go that far?